I’m not the most patient person, but the adoption process taught me perseverance and that some times all I can do is wait. When Craig and I rode past this Perseverance Bank in Haiti, I snapped a quick photo because it summarized what it had taken to reach this point.
Well, it seems that waiting has become the best parenting tool in the belt for this season of connecting with Mica. We are trying to take wee forays into the neighbourhood. When she does not know where she is or feel comfortable with what she sees (dog, truck, etc.), she stops and freezes. If she’s really not happy, she’ll just sit down. The need to be in control masks high anxiety.
Joyfully she has learned to say and sign, “Up, please,” so she can ask to be carried if she is really fearful. Sometimes I just wait, and she musters courage. Other times I point out the next destination or the fire hydrant or whatever presents as a viable goal, and she is able to proceed. Occasionally what is coming towards her becomes more frightening that going on, so she starts up. I have had to laugh internally about how much easier this is the fourth time around because I am not needing to force my will or to hurry. The other day I enjoyed the best 10 minute corner concert ever while I waited.
Craig frequently repeats what Mica has and what she needs is courage and courage is unnecessary until we are afraid. We have to give her the experiences that let her courage flourish. Below is Mica’s first swinging.
I am learning how to walk with courage as I watch my little girl navigate so many firsts – she exerts control with a willful NO or a freeze, and then she examines the situation, and then she does what seemed overwhelming just a moment before. I would love to know what is going on in her mind, but her actions embolden me. May I have the courage that she has!
Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it. – Mark Twain
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9
You cannot build character and courage by taking away a man’s initiative and independence. – Abraham Lincoln
Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14