What would make you want to do that?

Often Craig and I have been asked why we chose to adopt, but the medical professional who upon learning Mica is our fourth child asked, “What would make you want to do that?” irked me.  Probably the tone set me off, but it is a legitimate question from those who are more intimately involved in our lives:

to each other: 

After discussing and praying about adoption for almost 20 years, Craig looked at me and said, “I think we have to tell God whether or not we are going to obey Him in this, but we can’t keep postponing.”

 answer to a 9-year-old –

A then 9 year old Nathaniel had already offered up his room because his little sister would be younger than he is and his room was closer to ours:

Me:  Do you know why we are doing this?

N:  Not really.

Me:  There are children in the world whose parents have died or who are unable to take care of them, and we think Jesus has given our family enough love to love another child.  What do you think?

N:  For sure that . . . and then he had great questions about the impact on daily life.

Head of Haiti’s child and family services (Dean of IBESR):

So you are of an age that you could bear more children.  Why adopt?

So we gave a  public space general answer (I use to be terrible at this, but I guess I’ve really become an adult), “We believe we can love a child who needs it.”  True but not the truth.

The Dean culled through our file, asked about language barriers, what did we plan to do with the child, a litany of one question one after another, but she always circled back to “Why are you adopting?”

Finally, Craig delivered a mini-sermon to the effect that, “We believe that we have been loved by God, adopted as his children, given Christ as an older brother, and that His Father’s heart desire is that we share the love we have received with this child.”

Well, she accepted that answer with a mild follow-up question about our faith, signed the adoption order, and wished us luck.  She wanted truth.  We gave partial answers; but the truth resonated.

So if you wonder, that’s why we’ve adopted.  If you want to know more, we are both willing to talk.  Maybe I should have told the doctor that, but I missed the chance.

Influential movie:


Influential teaching about our own adoption

Romans 8

Galatians 4:5

Ephesians 1:3-10

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