After posting my second entry, maybe more, that refers to “attachment” parenting, I feel this strong need to put all of my caveats out there.
I have not been a fan of attachment parenting.
If you ever have the chance to see me with my children, you will see lots of love, affection, honesty, and at times attitude. But my first exposures to attachment parenting were from families where the parents seemed to use this philosophy to have their own needs met by the children under the guise of “attachment parenting.” In our adoption class when asked who has heard of it, I told my observations, and was kindly told that was “interesting.”
1. Parents use children to have their own needs met rather than confronting their unmet needs in an adult, appropriate space.
2. Children’s individual differences in independence levels are not respected.
3. Early introduction to attachment parenting seemed very fear based – the parents fears of kid won’t like me, may do drugs, may engage in other undesirable activities prematurely because you did not connect well enough. My sense is all of that can happen even when healthy attachment occurs.
Ok, I’m finished with attituding.
Why I now refer to this style of parenting. I’m not jumping on the bandwagon late. I recognized the need for intentionality to create bonds with our newest family member.