Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
Almost three thousand years ago, King Solomon collected quippy, wise sayings that still ring true. Stumbled upon this proverb this week. I’ve known the words a long time, but I realized I have lived the words for the last four years. The forty-four months of the adoption process took me from an expectant waiting to a dragging, will this ever really happen waiting. My spirit sagged; my energy was lagging.
Recently I have felt so energized, and stumbling on these words enlightened me as to why. My inner person has become able to come in and go. The blowings of the Spirit of God still feel mysterious but no longer painfully incomprehensible. My body still feels tired at the end of the day but even youth grow weary (Isaiah 40:30), but my mind and soul are ready to engage the next day with hope and energy.
In the middle of the long wait I was unaware of the drag. Then I was aware. My mental picture for these seasons of life are of subterranean waters that flow beneath the surface wearing away the walls. All on the surface looks normal and strong, but underneath lots of activity, lots of draining activity flows just beneath my surface.
Fulfilled longing is a tree of life. How can I choose to walk the next deferred hope better? Psalm 1
Hebrew helps from Strong’s Concordance
Hope – from a root for waiting
deferred – to drag
makes sick – related to words for sickness, weak, grief
heart (leb) – inner man, mind, will, heart
fulfilled (bo): to come in, come, go in, go