Her Skin Is Like Mine . . .

Her skin is like mine!

Yes it is!

Do you think she is beautiful?

Yes, she is beautiful.

photo from

Post having read Lupita’s speech (If you haven’t, please read or watch it); pre seeing her win the Oscar, my six-year-old and I had this conversation.   I was so thankful for my daughter to feel heartened and inspired by this young woman because kindergarten has been rough in the race department, and I’m a rookie parent prayerfully learning how to navigate the powerful waters of race.

My wee girl started kindergarten this fall and has been told she’s a boy because of her hair.  She has been told, “You are darker! and you can’t play with us.”  

The school is trying; the anti-racism and diversity mentor is helping the school counselor and teacher.

We as parents have honed in our core value – to help this child know she is loved and valuable and to know how to speak up for herself and to not pick up other’s baggage, but that’s a process that takes time. And for now we need adults to help her be safe and valued and treated with respect.

She also needs heroes and heroines, role models, and possibility makers.

So thank you Essence for providing the full transcript, and thank you Ms. Nyong’o for a thoughtful response to one young girl that my young girl will grow up hearing:

And so I hope that my presence on your screens and in the magazines may lead you, young girl, on a similar journey. That you will feel the validation of your external beauty but also get to the deeper business of being beautiful inside. There is no shade in that beauty. ”  – Lupita Nyong’o

Another conversation:

Which flower do you like the most?

I like all the different flowers together.

Do you like the brown one?

Yes, I do.

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