I’m a decent lover in the sense that I will love people:
- thoughtfully (On this point, I will have many more thoughtful ideas than I can muster the ability to implement, but I will try to do some thoughtful actions. If you’re my friend, you may not know how much thought I give to you.)
- in crisis and sad times as well as having fun together
But I’ve realized that I am a dreadful wooer. The best of relationships have an ebb and flow during life’s dailiness, and I enjoy the over time, deepening understanding and loving with people punctuated by purposeful connecting, enjoying life together and experiencing life’s challenges with one another.
Now wooing is a different matter – I’ve never given it much thought. I guess it seems unloving to try to connect with person who does not want to connect. I’m a give-the-other-space even when my heart longs to link. But I’m revising these thoughts. Wooing has a place. Each of us need to feel wanted and to have our wants attentively considered. I’m thinking in this season of love, I may need to learn a new skill.
Like a child, I need to be open to spontaneity, creativity, effusiveness.
Like a potential lover, I need to be open to wooing, courting, studying, and delighting.